Hello. My name is Ben Kaneaiakala, and I’m the owner of Phoenix rising addiction center. And thank you for joining me today. Again, as we continue a reading in the 12 and 12 on step one we’ve been touching on we admitted that we’re powerless over our thinking and that as a result of that, our behaviors have become unmanageable. And we’ve also covered the first question and the 12 and 12 about who cares to make complete defeat. So we’re just going to continue. And I’m glad that you’re here to join us in this series of the 12 steps to recovery and learning how to implement, learning, how to apply, learning, how to understand from my perspective and my experience of being in recovery and being in the substance abuse industry as long as I have, and just kinda my viewpoints or my experiences in, in, in sharing that with you.  So I just wanted to continue in that first paragraph of the 12 and 12 one step one. It says, who cares to make complete defeat question Mark practically, no one of course,  every natural instinct cries out against the idea of personal powerlessness and, and that’s true. None of us want to, I don’t want to on a regular basis every day, all day long admit, compete, defeat, or surrender or to yield and what I’m encouraging myself and, and, and for you to do is, is to surrender to the, the, the, the powerlessness and the unmanageability of my thinking and my behaviors. And recognizing that I’m not going to want to admit that there’s something wrong or that there is a problem. It tells me in that first paragraph where in that second sentence that no one wants to, it says practically, no one of course wants to admit complete defeat that every natural God given instinct of pride and ego and lost and anger and greed and gluttony and envy and slaw are all going to kick in and go no way, dude, like you need to continue managing this and making your own decisions.  Like that’s what our ego and our pride is going to do, because there’s no way, at least in my experience, I haven’t been conditioned to surrender or to give up. I grew up in an environment upbringing where you don’t admit weakness. You don’t admit that you’re wrong. You don’t admit that there’s something wrong. You don’t do any that you are to be strong, act strong. And even if your life’s falling apart don’t admit it and don’t surrender to it. You know? And so every natural instinct is going to cry out against that idea of personal powerlessness, this admission of complete defeat, this, this, this admitting powerlessness over something, a problem, whether it’s alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, whatever it might be that admission of powerlessness is not something that I was conditioned to do. I was, I was taught to fight, to lash out in anger, to defend myself, to rationalize, to justify, to minimize, to blame, to point the finger at you.  Like that’s what my instincts and that’s what my thinking does. And that’s why it’s so difficult to understand what this first step is trying to say, because it goes so deep. And so down in that place that we’ve never been before until the consequences of my behaviors in the outside world, in the world, why start getting legal problems, family problems, relationship problems, job problems, all these types of problems. Like when, when all of these things are I’m homeless, or I don’t have any money. Like when, when all these consequences all come my way in the external world, then I go, okay, I’ve, I’ve been beat. I can’t handle this. So we walk you through a 12 step program. That’s, that’s the, that’s the lowest of the lowest. Or I go into a treatment center or I go see a therapist or something like that to try and figure out what’s going on with me.  And and that’s, that’s, that’s what, what ends up happening. And so we then start feeling better. We maybe stop drinking and using we, we maybe make some adjustments to our, to our behavior and things start getting a little better. And then we say, okay, I got it. Thank you very much. And we’re back on our mirror way of doing it the way that we’ve always done it. The thing about it is that there’s a, there there’s a saying in the program that the, that the meaning of, of insanity is us doing the same thing, expecting different results. Well, when we do the same thing, it’s not exactly the same thing. What we’re trying to do is make it cosmetically look better, and we might change the job. We might change the relationship. We may change the car. We may change the house.  We might change all of that stuff, but it’s still the same thinking and the same behaviors that are happening, all we’re doing is cosmetically changing things. But the insanity of my thinking and my behaviors are still there and we’ll end up right back at the same place over and over and over again. You know, one of the things that I’ve, that I’ve learned for myself is that 90, 90% of my thinking is repetitive and useless. My thinking is so concerned with time. My thing is so concerned with psychological time, a time of the past and time of the future. My thing is so involved with what we call pain body or past experiences, traumas the way I grew up my culture, the environment I grew up in the city, I grew up in the community. I grew up in society. PA like all of those things, that’s where my thinking lives is in all of that.  It lives in labels. It lives in roles, different roles that I play it lives in judgments, you know, constant. So my thinking is constantly thinking about either the past things that have happened to me or that I’ve experienced, or I’m worried about the future or in fear about the future. And that’s where my thinking lives. So when we removed the alcohol drugs or excessive behaviors or manageable behaviors, and we kind of get them back to some form of manageability we then go into all kinds of other areas would then go into something else, a, a, another instinct or another defect of character or, or our world think that everything’s good. And that there’s nothing else that I need to do, but my thinking lives constantly me in all of that. And the first sign or thing that we have that can stop all of that is what we just read here, who cares to make completely defeat that that mission of powerlessness, the admission of unmanageability brings us present, brings us into the, now brings us into our higher power, whatever that higher, my higher power might be for you, whether you have one or not, but it brings us when we finally surrender and yield.  It finally pauses us to stop and maybe reach out and ask for some, some advice or some help. And that’s a big step. You know what I mean? But it tells us right away that who cares to me a complete defeat practically? No one of course, every now to answering is going to crowd against that idea. Every natural instinct that we have in our thinking is going to cry out against that idea of, of powerlessness and unmanageability. So take a look at what, see if this fits for you. If it doesn’t fit, don’t worry about it. You don’t have to take your person. I’m not coming after you or anything like that. But I’m going to end here for today. And we’ll continue this series on step one. Step one is the foundation step. It is the step that catapults us into doing more in regards to our recoveries or us getting better or us getting healthier that, that, that, that, that initial surrender or using, or that continuous using or surrender.  To me, it’s, it’s mandatory. It’s foundational. I won’t do anything in regards to my taking care of myself, unless this step happens for me on a regular basis throughout the day. So if if you like this, continue following subscribe to our YouTube channel, our Facebook page, our website at Phoenix, rising behavioral.com. And I’d love to answer any kind of questions that you might have, leave a comment. And I’m looking forward to our next session in part four, I believe. Cause this is part three and there’s going to be many parts. So I hope you guys are enjoying this as much as I am, and I hope you have a great day.