Hello. My name is Ben Kaneaiakala, Welcome back to part six of step one of recovery. And we’re going to dig into the 12 and 12 a little bit more in the next paragraph on page 21 of the 12 and 12. And I hope that you guys are finding these things beneficial. I know it’s something that I’m passionate about and it, it means a lot to me in my life and in my sobriety and my recovery. So I’m sharing these things from, from my experience, strength and hope. And again, it’s just my point of view. It doesn’t have to be yours. I’m just trying to create discussion thought maybe it might open up some, some doors for somebody. But I just wanted to, to continue in my part six of this series of us talking about step one. So here we go. The next paragraph that we’re going to be talking about is so, but upon entering a program, a 12 step program or getting some help with soon, take quite another view of this absolute humiliation. We perceive that only through other defeat, are we able to take our first steps, toward liberation and strength, our admissions of powerlessness or personal powerlessness finally turn out to be from bedrock upon which happy and purposeful lives may be built. It is at that point of surrender and admission of complete defeat where we’ve tried our way is not working. There’s gotta be a better way of doing this and it truly is. This is the better way this admission of complete defeat is where happy and purposeful lives may be built. It is where I don’t have to rely on what I’ve been thinking. One of the things that I’ve come to learn in my sobriety is that I constantly, my ego always lives in psychological time. It always lives in either the past or the future. And a lot of the times, because my thinking has been exposed to all of these different experiences that I’ve gone through true or false or what I’ve gone through is just my experience. It’s just based off of me, it’s based off of what I’ve gone through. It’s based on what I’ve experienced and is based on what I’ve learned. It doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s, that it’s true. It doesn’t mean that it’s it’s fact it’s just that that’s what was happening at that time. And that’s what I thought was what’s happening at that time. So I’m, I’m always either living in the past or I’m always living in the future and that’s where my ego lives. So when we’re looking at doing our God’s will, or we get into prayer or we get into meditation outside of that time, or even during that time, we could still be in self-will. We could still be in Ego because we could be asking and, and, and, and doing these things because we’re expecting something out of it. So even though I might be clean and sober, even though I might be participating in the basics of a 12 step program, even if I’m doing all of those things, I could still be running the show. I could still be playing God and making all the decisions and justifying that I’m not by, Hey, look, I’m clean and sober today. Or look, I’ve stopped doing this today, or look, I’m doing, I’m going to these meetings, I’ll look I’m in service. All of those things could still be very self serving in our journeys of recovery, but it is true surrender and to the admission of completely defeat and me using those, those tools to bring me into the present moment and into the now and this admission of complete defeat throughout the day that this admission of complete defeat, isn’t something that I do just at times that I want to, but it’s actually a practice that I have to do all day long that I need to make sure that I’m bringing my presence or my higher power, my being into everything that I do when I’m out for a walk that I connect with my higher problem when I’m eating that, I bring presence into eating that when I’m doing things that I bring this surrender to everything that I do, and that’s where my higher power lives, and that’s what they’re telling me, at least in my understanding, they’re telling me that that’s where happy and purposeful lives may be built. It is at that point of surrender that I must do all day throughout the day, every day. And with that, my thoughts are inclusive with my higher power. It includes my higher power in my thoughts. So in practical sense, in, in, in practically speaking of the world, my, my, my thoughts and my actions are higher power driven or it’s in presence, or it’s in the moment. And I make better choices and decisions when I bring that higher power into play. When I bring that, that presence into everything that I’m doing. So it doesn’t mean that I can’t set goals. It doesn’t mean that I can’t, I can’t think about the next thing I can. It’s just that I just don’t allow my thinking and my, and my body and my emotions to live there, that I spend the time that I need to spend there, and I do what I need to do, and then I let it go. I get back to being present in the moment, because if I don’t get present in the moment I miss this, I miss this happy and purposeful life, at least for me. And in my experience, every time I don’t do that, I get caught up in the past and I get caught up in the future, and I’m no longer present to enjoy what’s happening at the moment. So I encourage you as much as possible to incorporate a practice of being present in the moment and connecting with your higher power, everything that you do. And it is only when I surrender or I admit powerlessness and unmanageability that I’ll be even willing to even do something like that. Because outside of that, I’m just going to continue running the show. I’m going to continue doing it my way. And what’s going to happen is I’m just going to continue getting problems. Oh yeah. They might not be as serious as it was when I was drinking and using, or was acting out in, in some other unmanageable behaviors or thinking, but it’s still going to create pain and suffering because my thinking is still gonna be in the past and still gonna be in the future. You know? And that’s why it’s important that when I go to talk with my sponsor or talk with a therapist or talk with a friend in the program or whatever it might be, that I can, I can sort those things out with somebody, but I don’t have to live there and continue to feel bad about it, or to beat myself up about it or that i can recognize that yes, that’s, what’s happening. I can become aware of it, and then I can become aware of it and let it go and get back into presence. That’s a practice that is not an easy thing to do, but it starts off at this step. It starts off at this, at this, at this phase of the 12 steps, of practicing step one and implementing this admission of powerlessness and unmanageability in everything that I do, not just with the problem that I think I have, but in all aspects of my life, that if I can get into that place, if I can get to that place of in incorporating this principle or this practice of step one into all the areas of my life, what are, what I will find is what they just said, happy and a purposeful life. So I hope that that helps you. I’m looking forward to sharing part seven of this step as we continue to, to, to share and talk about this. And I hope you guys are having a great day and I will talk to you guys later, Mahalo
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