My name is Ben Kaneaiakala and welcome back to another session of me discussing and talking about step one out of the 12 and 12. We’re going to dig into it a little bit further. I believe we are on part four of step one, and we are on page 21 first paragraph who cares to make complete defeat practically knowing of course, every natural instinct cries out against the idea of personal powerlessness. So I had discussed that in the last video about this admission of powerlessness and how our instincts of pride and ego of gluttony of lust or, or any of the seven deadly sins is, is kinda what I’m talking about or instincts. When we are admitting this, this complete defeat or this powerlessness or this unmanageability, what will happen is if we’re just talking about alcohol and drugs, say for instance, and we’re having to admit that, okay, I’m an alcoholic and a drug addict.  Then what, what will happen is that once we get into a rehab center or we detox off of alcohol and drugs our instincts or our thinking around our instincts will then kick in. And that’s what we’re faced with in sobriety or long term sobriety is dealing with our instincts, dealing with our thinking and our instincts because our instincts are God given higher power, given all of us human beings have it. But what tends to happen is based on our experiences or our pain body, or our culture or the, where we grew up or how we grew up, or whether we had a parent that didn’t have a parent, whether we’re adopted or whatever the scenario it would be. That’s, that’s our experiences. And based off of those experiences, we’ve come up with these values, these beliefs, these core values, these beliefs, all in our thinking and 90 to 95% of that is useless and repetitive because we, because all of those past experiences are based off of what I thought about them.  They might not be the truth about what’s going on or what has happened there, just my perspective on what’s going on. So we come into a 12 step program, or you come into Phoenix rising addiction center like us, and we’re, we’re, we’re dealing with somebody who’s been sober anywhere from two weeks to two days to 30 days. And what we started dealing with is the resistance to this continued admission of complete defeat and surrender. And these instincts of ours is God given instincts cry out against that. So what we’re faced with is that that constant withdraw or detox of our thinking and our defects of character, our instincts we’re left having their, because we no longer have, I’m just speaking about alcohol and we no longer have alcohol and drugs anymore to help us deal with the way that we think, the way that we feel and our emotions.  So now that that’s no longer there, we’re not left to deal with just me and me alone. And that me and me alone, I don’t even know very well. It’s based off of all of these things that I’ve gone through, all of these resentments, all these fears, all these worries, all the harms that have done to other people. So I’m filled with all of this calamity and all of this crap that I’ve been holding on to for years and years and years and years. And even from before I even came along, there are even ancestral things that are passed on through generation to generation that I’m unaware of that could be impacting me. So when we’re, when we’re talking about this admission of complete defeat or powerlessness and unmanageability, they’re just letting us know that our instincts are going to crowd against this and, and that’s one of the things that we gotta be aware of and know that that’s what’s happening, that when I’m struggling in the moment or in the day that a lot of it is this stinking thinking, you know, and he goes on to say that it is truly offered to admit that glass in hand or a defect that character in hand, or thinking or value or belief that we might have in hand, we have warped our thinking or our minds into such an obsession for destruction that only an act of Providence can remove it from us. So as letting us know that it is truly awful, that no matter what is going on, that we have warped our thinking into a way where we’ve just created problems. We’ve created problems with work with school, with home, with whatever it is with ourselves. You know, those are just that the, the, the, the destruction that we’ve created in the world, but what about the destruction that we’ve created within ourselves?  So we come into recovery and we’re, we’re, we’re having to admit complete defeat over alcohol and drugs, and then we’re faced with all these, these obsessions of our mind and what are we going to do with all that? So, one of the things that suggested that we do is we get involved in the basics. We start attending 12 step meetings, we start getting into therapy. We started seeing a counselor. We get into a program, we get into service. We find a mentor, a sponsor. We start working the steps that are working the traditions in our lives. We start practicing Prayer and meditation. We started using the tools that are on any 12 step program and start implementing those tools in our lives so that we’re not all consumed with Me, me, me and I, which is what this is talking about, because once the alcohol and drugs have gone, they’re still there.  Me, I still got to learn how to deal with me. I still gotta learn how to deal with my thinking, my emotions, my body, like all of these things is what we’re faced with when we get clean and sober. And yes, will things get better? Absolutely. When you start drinking and using, it stops the insanity of what drinking and using does and makes our world a little easier, makes it a little bit more manageable, you know? But what I’m, what I’m pushing and pressing towards is what our instincts, our stinking thinking, or the, the obsession of the mind, or the warped thinking that we have affects not only my thinking, but my thinking also affects me in the body. And then it affects me in my emotions. So if I don’t know how to manage or respond, or, and all I’m doing is reacting.  That’s the cycle that we keep going through thinking body emotions. And it goes right back to thinking body mind. And it’s just this vicious cycle of insanity. And that’s the, that’s the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results and we we’ll replicate our past in sobriety just because clean and sober doesn’t mean that you don’t stop thinking the way that you’re thinking or behaving the way that you used to behave when you’re clean and sober. The thinking the past experiences all still there, they’re all impacting you clean and sober today in recovery, it’s still going to have an effect. So we have to dig into the program and, and critique to ask for help because that stuff never goes away. And that’s why this is a daily reprieve. You know, that’s why we have to continue to work on being spiritually fit because our thinking and our pain body of the past never goes away.  It’s always there. As long as we’re thinking, it is always there. We are going to respond the way we’ve always responded. And through recovery, those responses might, might not be as frequent. It might not be as bad. It might not be as, as dramatic or as destructive, but the thinking is all still there. And if we don’t change the thinking, then the behavior doesn’t change. And we got to change the behavior sometimes in order to help change the thinking. But either way we go, we need the help. We need this constant surrender, this, this using this admission of powerlessness and unmanageability every day, all day. So I just wanted to kind of go into that. And they say that the only thing that can remove this from us is an act of Providence or an act of a higher power or an act of God or whatever your higher power might be.  The only thing that can remove this obsession of the thinking is to be present, with your God is an act of Providence, not just one act, but to be in constant contact with this act of Providence and staying present that that’s the only solution that we have. So I hope you find this helpful please follow us at the end of this video and subscribe to our YouTube channel. If you have any comments, please leave comments or questions or anything that you might want to share. Just leave it at the end, in our YouTube channel and follow us on and all of our social media platforms. Looking forward to continue working and sharing with you this great information and resources and tools with you. And I hope you have a great day.